As your parents get older, your concerns will increase. As an adult child to an elderly adult, you will feel responsible for their well-being. If you and your elderly parent live in separate homes, it may raise red flags on your part. It may be even more worrisome if your aging parent lives in a completely different town or state. Not having daily interaction with them may add to your stress because you are not able to check up on them to see if they are okay. If your elderly parent lives alone and lives too far for regular visits, then your ideal situation would be having them move into your home. Many elderly adults will try to convince themselves and others that they are capable of living independently, but between health and safety issues, it is not a good idea for an elderly adult to live alone. If your elderly adult insists on staying in their home, here are some ways you can convince them to move into your home:
- Give them statistics and facts
Sometimes telling your elderly parent that living alone is not a good idea just isn’t enough. You have to present them with real statistics and facts to get your point across. If there has been an increase in local crime, then show them newspaper articles. Print out updated statistics on the negative impact living alone has on seniors. Show them social media posts and videos of elderly targeted crime. Go on a website that lists the risks of elderly adults living alone. Give them solid evidence to let them know they are not safe living alone. By giving them current information, you are letting them know you are not being paranoid, you are being realistic and cautious. Your elderly parent may open their eyes to the risks and agree to move into your home. - Show them around your neighborhood and city
Letting your elderly parent visit and stay at your home for a couple of weeks may bring their guard down and increase their comfort level. Give them a tour of the inside and outside of your house so they can become more familiar. Don’t refer to the room they will be staying in as the guest room but instead as their very own room. This will make them feel more at home and view your home as long-term rather than a short visit. If they enjoy certain things at their home, then have them available at your home. For example, if they prefer tea over coffee, have tea. If they enjoy plants and flowers, have those in your yard as well. If they like to sit outside for a few minutes every day, buy them their own outdoor chair. Little things that we may overlook are big things to them so make their visit as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. Let your elderly parent bond with your spouse and children, meet your neighbors, take them to local restaurants or parks, and bring them to a local senior center so they can make new friends. - Have a heart-to-heart talk
If your elderly parent is adamant about staying at their home because they are clinging onto what they’ve grown used to, then have a heart-to-heart talk. Sometimes letting your senior age parent know how you truly feel may convince them to move into your home. Let them honestly know that you are fearful of them living alone because you don’t want them to fall down, get sick, or be a target of criminal activity. You can reassure them that they will still have their own space and privacy in your home. If giving up the family home is the issue, reassure them that you will only rent it out rather than selling the property. Tell them the rental income will be given to them which can be used for their monthly expenses, family vacations, put into their savings, or to hire a professional companion or caregiver. Whatever you do, to try to persuade them to move into your home, do it with love and compassion.
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